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Alisha: Hey, guys, it's Alisha from The Williams Way here on YouTube, and today I'm sharing with you all my tips on how to find balance as a first-time mom.
I myself am currently a first-time mom. I had my daughter, Valerie, about five months ago, and let me tell you guys: Finding balance is a true struggle.
It went from it just being my husband and I to having a total human being that we had to take care of, and love on, and care for. And things have just been so much more different now that she is here – in good way, of course – but it has definitely been a struggle trying to find that balance between working, being a wife, and being a mom.
So over the course of the past five months I have found some things that has helped me figuring out how to balance it all. And there are just so much going, but these tips have definitely helped getting more of a grasp on my life, a grasp on being a mother, and just all that good stuff. So of course I want to share with you guys. Hope you all enjoy it, and let's go ahead and jump right into it.
Tip number one to living a more balanced life as a first-time mom is to not multitask. I know it sounds weird, because you want to get as much done as possible, you want to achieve as much as possible. But you're probably doing yourself more of a disservice than helping yourself out, because you're not able to commit 100 percent to each task, because you're trying to balance out so many other tasks.
I have made the mistake plenty of times of accidentally burning the food because I was working, or typing the wrong thing because I was playing with Valerie, or not even being able to tell my husband what he just said because I was working.
There's just so much going on that nothing ever really receives my 100 percent undivided attention, and that's where the downfall is. My husband doesn't get all of my attention, my daughter doesn't get all of my attention, and my work doesn't get all of my attention.
So I have to figure out how to balance it all by sticking to one thing at one time. If I'm working, I'm just working and that's it. No distractions at all, it's just me and my computer, and I am working and doing what I have to do.
When I am home, it is all about family, there's no working, there's no nothing. I'm just hanging out with my family and my husband and my daughter, and we are just enjoying time together.
That has made a huge difference in my happiness, my stress level, and just overall the happiness in our home.
For the past few months I have started to get organized the night before, meaning I will prep whatever I can the night before in order to make my mornings a lot smoother and a lot easier.
So that means at night I will prep bottles, I will prep my clothes for the morning, I will get my work stuff together. I organize as much as I can, so that way the mornings are a lot less stressful and a lot less crazy. In our household, it can get pretty crazy and hectic around here, because we have to feed Val, get her bags together, my husband is getting ready to go to work, I have to put clothes on, there's just so much different things going on that organization is key. And it's better to do it at night than in the morning. That way, we can sleep in a little bit later and actually enjoy our mornings together as a family.
My next tip is one that I had to learn on my own, and that is to not be so hard on yourself. I know mom guilt can be so real. I experienced mom guilt like crazy because I felt so bad having to divide my attention from my husband to my daughter and then of course having to work.
I just felt like a bad mom, to be honest. And after a while I had to realize that I'm a first-time mom, I'm learning as the days go by, we're all in this together. So while my daughter is learning, I'm learning things as well. There is just a lot of learning going on, and I can't be too hard on myself, because I'm doing the best that I can.
I'm working hard, I'm doing what I can to make everyone happy, and, at the end of the day, mistakes will happen but my family will understand. And I am new to this, so being a mom is new to me, and I have no idea what I'm doing. So as long as my family understands that I'm doing the best that I can, that is all that I can hope for and wish for and just give –
So give yourself some grace, be patient with yourself. This is a learning process for the whole family, not just you, and just take it day by day.
One thing that is so important as a first-time mom is to take some me time. Having some me time is so important for a mom, especially a first-time mom, because you are so overwhelmed with the life changes. You have to do so much more than you used to do. There's just so much going on, you can be stressed out or overwhelmed very easy, and it is so important to take some time for you.
It may not be during the day, it could be overnight or on the weekends. Just take at least a hour or two to yourself. Just decompress, relieve some stress. Just do what you have to do to stay sane, stay healthy, stay mentally happy.
It's so easy to lose sight on yourself whenever you are a first-time mom. I know for me, personally, I was just doing so much mommy stuff at the very beginning that I completely lost sight of myself, and that was a problem.
And I had to step back and say, "Hey, I'm important too, my health matters too, my mentality matters as well." If I'm not happy, the household isn't happy, my daughter isn't happy, no one's happy [laughs]. So, yes, just take some me time, relax, breathe.
Another big key tip to finding balance as a first-time mom is to learn to ask for help and to accept help.
It is so easy as a first-time mom to want to do everything on your own, to want to take care of everything on your own, and be Superwoman. But I promise you guys, it is okay to ask for help, it is okay to accept help. If people offer it, just don't brush 'em off and say, "No, I got it, I can handle it," because over time you'll become more and more and more overwhelmed.
I myself was the queen of not asking for help and not accepting help. I would always say, "No, I have it … Oh, I can do this ... Oh, I can fix that." And over time I just got more and more and more stressed.
And one day my husband had to say, "Alisha, stop, chill out. I'll take care of it, you go sit down." [laughs]
If you don't feel like cleaning the kitchen, have your husband clean the kitchen. If one of your friends offers to cook for you, accept the meal. If you wanna have a date night, have family and friends watch your baby for a few hours. It's so important to just accept help, ask for help, and just know that getting help is okay.
And my last tip to finding balance as a first-time mom is to prioritize. Prioritize, prioritize, prioritize.
Every day I wake up in the morning and I make a list of what is the most important task to get done that day. And whatever is the top task, I tackle it that way. So I go from top to bottom, that way I know I'm getting done what's most important throughout the day. And that helps me to stay organized, stay focused, and just stay on track to getting what needs to be done done.
But, of course, for us moms our number one priority is our families – our families always come first. So let's let our life reflect that priority. So if work happens to interfere with family stuff, let the family stuff always come first.
For me, that is what's always number one. If I have work to do, I will put it on pause and focus on my daughter if she needs me, because that's what comes first. She is my number one priority, and I focus on her first before anything else. And then, of course, I'll finish the work later on. But just prioritize, make a schedule, and everything else will fall into place.
Those are my tips for finding balance as a first-time mom.
I'm only almost six months in, so I'm still fairly new to the game. But I wanted to go ahead and share with you all those tips that have helped me with becoming adjusted to motherhood, being a wife, being a working mom, just all that in one and still managing to keep my household together in one piece. So I hope that you all enjoyed the tips and found them helpful.
Again, I am Alisha Williams from The Williams Way here on YouTube.
If you all wanna see vlogs of my everyday life with my husband and my crazy, free-spirited daughter, Valerie, check out our channel The Williams Way here on YouTube. We would love to have you guys join us. So check it out, hope you all have a wonderful day, and I will see you all in the next one. Bye guys!
Video production by The Williams Way.